I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my nose is crying tears of wow.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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