Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize