we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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