Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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