ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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