I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
