i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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