I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
