Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
