Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
