aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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