doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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