drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
