I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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