I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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