This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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