Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I forget how to act sober
Randomize