..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
