wrigley field is MILF paradise
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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