there's paper in my vomit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize