I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
