absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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