her vagine was all disorganized.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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