I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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