your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
