Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
