Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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