Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize