he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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