Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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