Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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