did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
