Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
