The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am one with the molecules
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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