We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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