I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
