Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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