you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
