: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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