at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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