I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
