Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's never too late to be topless.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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