Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
