When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
