I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize