Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
