i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions