I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize