Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
