she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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