Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize