I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
