You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
