I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
