I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
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Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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