I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
