rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
