Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
