take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
