All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
