i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
